Like an old married couple...

Taking on identities without thought might not help us long term

The trees in the foreground of this picture got me thinking this morning. As I approached, initially I couldn’t see that it was two trees. It looked like one tree.

But like an old married couple, they have grown together over the years and started to merge into one identity. Intertwined and supporting each other. it really was beautiful. One of the trees has crept over to the other and leaned into it.

But whilst a long-married couple is also a beautiful thing, that sort of growing 'into' something isn’t always positive or purposeful. We can merge into and take on identities we hadn’t expected to, but, you know, life is busy and needs must and we don't have time to stop and take stock.

Then suddenly one day we think 'How did that happen? How have I moved so far from what I thought my life and career and relationship would be?'. And then don’t know how to get back to what we thought we would be. These trees are beautiful together. But are they all they could have been? Would we see their beauty better if they had maintained their identities?

I regularly speak to women who feel this way. That they have a life and career that are not what they thought they would have, before they had children. They still have a career and a family life, but the idea of how those would exist together is a long way from what they hoped for or expected. So it feels like they are rushing about to try and do everything, but never feeling like they are getting enough done. They feel frustrated and resentful about how things have turned out, but not sure how to even start to make a change to get back to what they thought they would be.

It is for these women that I have created the 'Becoming what you might have been' programme. A 1:1 coaching programme, tailored to you, to help you navigate back to what you might have been. If you would like to find out more, contact me

to book a short call. We can talk about how we could create your plan to unwrap your full potential and move you forward to the career you always rightfully deserved, the career you thought you would have before you had a family. All while maintaining your family and work in a fairer balance